introduction to my blog and artistic goals

I’m not really sure how to write a blog anymore, in fact it’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything. I don’t know why I stopped writing, but it’s really difficult to get my thoughts to come together in a coherent way. Anyway, I’m an abstract artist with schizophrenia and other mental stuff going on. I try to create new paintings and artwork every day but sometimes it can be a challenge, mostly due to lack of motivation and ability to organize my thoughts in a way that’s useful. I like abstract art because there aren’t really any rules to it, and it’s really difficult to mess it up. I can do whatever I want to because nothing matters and it’s about whatever I think looks good that really counts. If other people like it, that’s good too. It would be awesome if other people wanted to buy my art, but I mostly just do it because it’s a massive NEED to create, something I’ve always had to do. It’s a survival technique, a coping mechanism, to me. I want my art to make other people happy and to connect to other people through my art. I’m not very good with words, so art is all I really have. I’m hoping that at least some of this is making sense. Like I said, it’s been a while since I last wrote anything. I need time and patience with myself, and others, which is sometimes extremely difficult. It takes a lot of patience to create art, especially when there are mental obstacles involved. Inspiration doesn’t always come easy, and sometimes it leaves for a long while. I talk about my schizophrenia openly alongside my art, because it’s a thing that needs more awareness and acceptance. It’s not something someone chooses to have, but I do choose to talk about it. It influences my art in a lot of ways, but is something that has also held me back. I accept that it’s a part of me; it always has been and always will be. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s one of my goals to help bring more awareness and acceptance towards it, even if it’s only just a few people.

“the city”

Anyway, on a semi-unrelated note, I have a few goals in regards to my artwork. I want to reach 200 paintings and/or drawings on my facebook page by the end of the year. I somehow managed to reach my goal of 100 last year…in fact, I went a bit over that number before the new year. I’m a bit behind but I think I may be able to manage getting to 200 if I work hard enough and stick to my daily schedule.

Another thing I want to do is bring more people to my Patreon. Since I work from home and have literally no social skills of any kind, Patreon is my main source of income when I’m not selling original artwork. On there I post my work in progress photos, time-lapse and process videos, small custom paintings, and more. I’m constantly trying to think of ways I can improve things for my patrons, and I post there many times a week. Patreon has been a fun experience so far, so I think I’ll keep doing it as long as it’s up and running, or as long as I need to. I want to save up for a new camera, on which I plan on recording better quality time-lapses and other videos; and also I want to save up for a new computer, to make uploading more content, easier. Recording and editing videos is another hobby of mine, but it’s really difficult on the computer I own now.

Yet another goal I have is to make more friends in the art community. While I wish I could just go out into the world and make friends, approach people and just start talking, that’s always been something I just cannot do, and have never been able to do. I don’t have a clue how to start a conversation with another human being. On the internet however, social rules are different in a way, and easier to comprehend. It’s a lot easier to strike up a conversation, and for the internet I am grateful. I sometimes feel like I’m a little too weird for the internet, but whatever. I have more goals, I’ve just forgotten them.

If you’ve read this far without gagging, lighting your computer on fire, or going to sleep, thank you. This was just an introductory post anyway to see if I could write this long, and I’m not sure how blogging on here works. If you have something you’d like me to talk more about, let me know. I’d appreciate the feedback. Also, please consider becoming a patron on my Patreon. 🙂  Have a good day.

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